Silence holds my hand at night and its friendship makes me inconsolable. The reasons why I’ve become a hermit, lately, were undefined –I blamed financials mostly, but sinking my teeth into the issue, I’m not so sure it is anymore.
The details? I’m still sorting and dealing with privately. It’s being okay with staying home all of the time that gets on my nerves mostly. Unfortunately, no one can help me but myself.
I prayed last night (which for the most part feels hypocritical, considering my flip-flop nature of believing and disbelieving in God). I did something I never do; I, in vain, asked for help. I say “in vain” because I don’t think anyone was listening.
Life has a way of playing itself out in just the perfect way it’s meant to... and it’s in this one detail I find my solace in.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Diners
In a moment of lucid thinking, I took notes of both random and sporadic words that came to mind. Trying to link them together should eventually make sense, considering I have no idea where I was going with all of the nonsense…
Anyhow, I came to the simile that life is like a diner. Yup, I said it… just a regular, run-of-the-mill diner. Think about it… Everything, like business, happens in cycles... including when it comes to people and their natural behavior.
You have new faces that come in and test the waters. Some like what you’re dishing while others never come back again. Some will come back often and then grow tired of the same “old” thing, eventually retiring altogether or only for a little while.
You have the repeat offenders that come in, eat all they can, skip out on the tab, and then think it’s okay to come back again… and again.
And lastly, you have your good, dependable regulars that, come hell or high water, keep your business alive.
Many times, in my short life, I compared life to being a revolving door to reflect how people come in and out at any given moment, but it never identified those who have always been there and those that stay, even after vacation. That’s why I thought it best to compare life to a business; in this case, a diner. Diners, overall, just seem more quaint, personal, and personable, even.
But regardless of your association with others, a piece of you expects that tiny piece of appreciation in return –that thank you, that hug, that detail that means you mean something. Call it a sense of individual glorification, or whatever you like, but a sense of our meaning and self-worth derives from what good others see in us. I’ve concluded that that’s why it drives us mad when others fail to see our greatness or potential for it.
Lately, the peace I’ve found, within myself, I’ve welcomed with open arms, but every so often I miss the chaos, at least the feeling of something greater, than myself, out there. Sometimes, some things just don’t feel right; even the great things don’t feel right, and that feeling, lately, is what disturbs me most.
Anyhow, I came to the simile that life is like a diner. Yup, I said it… just a regular, run-of-the-mill diner. Think about it… Everything, like business, happens in cycles... including when it comes to people and their natural behavior.
You have new faces that come in and test the waters. Some like what you’re dishing while others never come back again. Some will come back often and then grow tired of the same “old” thing, eventually retiring altogether or only for a little while.
You have the repeat offenders that come in, eat all they can, skip out on the tab, and then think it’s okay to come back again… and again.
And lastly, you have your good, dependable regulars that, come hell or high water, keep your business alive.
Many times, in my short life, I compared life to being a revolving door to reflect how people come in and out at any given moment, but it never identified those who have always been there and those that stay, even after vacation. That’s why I thought it best to compare life to a business; in this case, a diner. Diners, overall, just seem more quaint, personal, and personable, even.
But regardless of your association with others, a piece of you expects that tiny piece of appreciation in return –that thank you, that hug, that detail that means you mean something. Call it a sense of individual glorification, or whatever you like, but a sense of our meaning and self-worth derives from what good others see in us. I’ve concluded that that’s why it drives us mad when others fail to see our greatness or potential for it.
Lately, the peace I’ve found, within myself, I’ve welcomed with open arms, but every so often I miss the chaos, at least the feeling of something greater, than myself, out there. Sometimes, some things just don’t feel right; even the great things don’t feel right, and that feeling, lately, is what disturbs me most.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Welcome
Given a flair for the dramatic, I thought I'd start one of these things... Not so much because I wanted to but because it helps the work-related boredom on those slow days. Go figure.
So, for the first time, I'll keep it simple. I'm 22, I'm female, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Not assuming that I should have it all figured out by now, but still, the brain keeps trucking and requesting an answer I just don't have.
I'd try and charm you with my wits, but the truth is, I'm just in one of those moods. Ugh. And it's only Monday.
So, I'm guessing the question is, "What can I expect from this thing?" And the all-honest answer is that I have absolutely no clue. Maybe a rant, maybe something funny, maybe something informational, maybe a little gossip, and if you're lucky -poetry... But really, there's no telling where my mind will blow because maybe, just maybe, you might get nothing.
Welcome.
So, for the first time, I'll keep it simple. I'm 22, I'm female, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Not assuming that I should have it all figured out by now, but still, the brain keeps trucking and requesting an answer I just don't have.
I'd try and charm you with my wits, but the truth is, I'm just in one of those moods. Ugh. And it's only Monday.
So, I'm guessing the question is, "What can I expect from this thing?" And the all-honest answer is that I have absolutely no clue. Maybe a rant, maybe something funny, maybe something informational, maybe a little gossip, and if you're lucky -poetry... But really, there's no telling where my mind will blow because maybe, just maybe, you might get nothing.
Welcome.
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